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Episode 0074

Summary

The audio features a man on a date who experiences an elaborate internal monologue, expressing extreme happiness about being on the date, then chastising himself for inappropriate thoughts. He struggles with social etiquette, particularly choosing the correct fork for his salad, and ultimately ends up awkwardly eating his date's salad. The conversation also includes the woman expressing her hunger and later pointing out the salad mix-up.

00:00 00:00

Transcript (Click timestamp to jump)

00:08 Speaker 1 Spanish

Mise y yo salade.

My salad.

00:10 Speaker 2

Mmm, looks good. I'm positively famished.

00:14 Speaker 1

And for you, sir.

00:16 Speaker 1

Thank you.

00:18 Speaker 1

Enjoy.

00:19 Speaker 2

Thank you. Thank you.

00:24 Speaker 1

I can't believe she's on a date with me. I'm so lucky. I must be the luckiest guy in the world. I wanna scream at the top of my lungs, 'I'm the luckiest dude in the world!'

00:33 Speaker 1

Oh, shut up. Don't be such a dumbass.

00:36 Speaker 1

She's so hot.

00:38 Speaker 1

Wait, I can't say that.

00:40 Speaker 1

Good sexist.

00:41 Speaker 1

She's so hot, she's making me sexist. Oh my God.

00:44 Speaker 1

I'm such a tool.

00:45 Speaker 1

Okay, get it together.

00:47 Speaker 1

Oh, she's eating salad.

00:49 Speaker 1

Alright. I'll have a salad.

00:52 Speaker 1

Oh crap, which fork do I use? Damn it!

00:54 Speaker 1

She's gonna think I'm a moron.

00:56 Speaker 1

What the hell are all these forks for?

00:58 Speaker 1

Which one did she use?

01:00 Speaker 1

Okay, chill. Go, go.

01:03 Speaker 1

Just take a fork. Eat your salad.

01:09 Speaker 2

Um.

01:10 Speaker 1

Hmm?

01:12 Speaker 1

Whoa, sorry, what were you saying?

01:14 Speaker 2

You're eating my salad.

01:16 Speaker 1

Oh, yes, it's delicious.