Episode 0098

Hello English learners, welcome back to EnglishPod. My name is Marco.

And I'm Erica.

Well, today's lesson is called 'That's flattering'.

Right. So we are going to be teaching you how to flatter someone.

Okay, so what does it mean to flatter someone?

Well, basically, you're going to be giving compliments and you're going to make that person feel good about themselves.

That's right.

Okay, so, flattering.

Now, before we get on with this flattering lesson, we need to look at some vocabulary in Vocabulary Preview.

Vocabulary Preview.

All right, and vocabulary preview today, we have two small words.

So the first one is 'bar exam'.

The bar exam.

The bar exam.

So the bar exam is that formal test that lawyers must do to become official lawyers.

Right. So it's that final exam in order to finally become a lawyer.

Mhm.

Okay. And what about our next word?

Well, we're also going to hear in the dialogue 'obnoxious'.

Obnoxious.

Obnoxious.

Okay, so this is an adjective.

Yes, and it means something that is really, really annoying.

Okay, so something can be obnoxious.

Or someone.

Or someone. Okay, very good.

So now we have these two words that we're going to listen to in the dialogue, and now let's listen to two people as they flatter each other in our dialogue.

Oh, come on. Well, I've been watching what I eat and I work out three times a week. By the way, I heard your son recently graduated.

He is such a handsome guy. He gets his looks from his mother, of course.

Thank you. What about your daughter, Pamela? I heard she passed the bar exam and married recently.

Such a lovely girl. I hope my Paul is lucky enough to find a girl like that someday.

But of course. Well, it's been great talking to you, but I have to get going.

Same here. We'll catch up soon, maybe over coffee.

All right, so this is your typical, normal, everyday behavior that women show to each other, right?

Yeah, I think it's very common. It's very hard to argue against this because I think everyone does it, or at least you've heard maybe your mother or something talk to her friends like this.

So pretend you like a person who you actually hate.

Right, you have to be courteous.

All right, no, I'm not, but we can take a look at some of this great language, very rich language that we found in this dialogue in Fluency Builder.

Fluency Builder.

All right, we're doing things a little bit different in this lesson. So we're going to do two fluency builders, and in the first one, we're going to focus on language you can use to flatter someone.

Right. So let's get started.

In the very first part of the dialogue, we heard Valerie say, 'I love what you've done with your hair'.

I love what you've done with your hair.

I love what you've done with.

I love what you've done with.

Okay, so if somebody says this, basically they're saying,

I like the change you made.

Okay. And change not only to your hair, right?

It could be anything. So, 'I love what you've done with your new house'.

Mhm. So something that you've changed, you can use this phrase for.

Okay. And in this case, it's her hair, so she is complimenting her on her hair.

We also heard Darlene say,

You haven't aged a day.

You haven't aged a day.

You haven't aged a day.

Okay, so now she is saying that she hasn't gotten any older.

That's right. To age is to get older.

Okay. So this is a very common way of telling somebody, 'You look great'.

That's right.

You look young.

You look young, you look great.

You haven't aged a day.

All right, so then they talk about their kids, and they're talking about the son, and they, and Valerie says, 'He's such a handsome guy'.

He is such a handsome guy.

He is such a handsome guy.

Okay, so this structure is important because now I can change the adjective.

And I am saying, 'He is very intelligent. He is such an intelligent guy'.

All right, very good. So now, why don't we combine the two phrases that we've just heard: 'I love what you've done with' and 'He is such a', and let's listen to some examples.

Example one.

Example two.

Example three.

Yeah, they are very good and now you can use them together or separately like in the dialogue.

That's right.

Now let's move to our final flattering phrase.

Valerie says that Darlene's son gets his looks from his mother.

Right. She says, 'He gets his looks from his mother, of course'.

He gets his looks from.

Okay. So when she says, 'He gets his looks from', she's saying his appearance, his positive appearance, his good appearance.

Right, his good looks.

Okay, so now we can change the noun and I can say, 'He gets his intelligence from his father'.

Okay. So typically you would say his mother, his father, or maybe one of the grandparents, right?

Maybe, yeah.

But you wouldn't say, 'He gets his good looks from his brother'.

No, no, no, no. Mother, father, grandma, grandpa.

All right. So now that we've covered four great ways of flattering someone, let's listen to this dialogue again, but we're going to slow it down a little bit so you can pick up on these phrases.

Oh, come on. Well, I've been watching what I eat and I work out three times a week. By the way, I heard your son recently graduated.

He is such a handsome guy. He gets his looks from his mother, of course.

Thank you. What about your daughter, Pamela? I heard she passed the bar exam and married recently.

Such a lovely girl. I hope my Paul is lucky enough to find a girl like that someday.

But of course. Well, it's been great talking to you, but I have to get going.

Same here. We'll catch up soon, maybe over coffee.

Okay, so we, we see a lot of great flattering language in this dialogue, but we also have some really good language and phrases you can use in small talk, in any situation.

Right, so maybe if you talk to a friend that you haven't seen in a while, you have some really great phrases for, as you say, small talk.

So let's look at those now in Fluency Builder, part two.

Fluency Builder.

Okay, so let's start with the first phrase.

It's been such a long time.

It's been such a long time.

So basically here, she's saying we haven't seen each other in a long time.

Right. But it kind of gives you that idea that she regrets not talking to her for such a long time.

Yeah, she wishes she could have talked to her.

Mhm. It's been such a long time. How are you?

Mhm. So a wonderful way to start a conversation.

So when they start talking about their kids, Valerie says, 'By the way, I heard your son recently graduated'.

Right. By the way, I heard your son recently graduated.

So this phrase, 'by the way, I heard blah, blah, blah' is really, really useful.

Right. Let's take a look at the first part, 'by the way'.

So this is a way to, to to connect to different ideas or to start a new topic.

Exactly. And now when she says, 'I heard your son recently graduated'.

So we use this phrase 'I heard' when we've got information that we're not sure about.

Right, or also you are demonstrating interest about a certain topic or a news event that you would like to know about.

Right. And so basically you're asking the other person, 'Tell me about this'.

Right. So I can say, 'Hey, by the way, I heard you got married'.

So I then I'd tell you all about my wedding.

Exactly.

Okay, so this is a very common way of talking to someone or getting some more information from a person. So let's listen to some more examples of 'by the way'.

Example one.

Example two.

Example three.

Oh, I heard you just got back from holiday in France.

All right, now, since these two ladies don't like each other very much, they want to end the conversation, right?

Right. They want to end the conversation, and well, you want to end it in a polite way.

So they use a really great phrase here. They said, 'It's been great talking to you, but I have to get going'.

Right. So, it's like, 'Well, it's been great talking to you, but I have to get going'.

Mhm. So, 'It's been great talking to you'.

Uhhuh. I've, I've enjoyed talking to you.

Right. So this is a very polite, very subtle way of saying, 'Hey, I have to go' or 'Bye, I can't talk anymore'.

Yeah, when you say that, you know that the conversation is ending.

Exactly. Now, she says, 'I have to get going'. What does it mean 'get going'? That that doesn't make much sense.

Basically, it just means leave.

Okay. I have to leave. I have to get going.

Mhm.

You should you should get going, you're going to be late.

Exactly.

Some really good small talk phrases that are useful in any situation.

So why don't we hear them again one more time by listening to the dialogue?

Oh, come on. Well, I've been watching what I eat and I work out three times a week. By the way, I heard your son recently graduated.

He is such a handsome guy. He gets his looks from his mother, of course.

Thank you. What about your daughter, Pamela? I heard she passed the bar exam and married recently.

Such a lovely girl. I hope my Paul is lucky enough to find a girl like that someday.

But of course. Well, it's been great talking to you, but I have to get going.

Same here. We'll catch up soon, maybe over coffee.

All right, very good. So now you have a couple of phrases that you can use to flatter someone, be it your friend, or somebody that you know, or anyone. And well, they are very, very useful and if you use them correctly, of course.

Right, and these phrases sound really honest and really natural, very native-like.

Okay, so if you have any other questions or comments or if you want to share some other phrases that you use to flatter people, come to our website at Englishpod.com and leave them in our comment section.

So, Marco and I have to get going, but we're looking forward to seeing you on the website.

Thanks for listening and until next time.

Bye.

Bye.

The English Pod audio review.

Listen to the meaning, then say the vocabulary word.

Short, friendly, unimportant conversations.

Small talk.

You haven't gotten older. You look young.

You haven't aged a day.

Speak badly of someone without them knowing.

Talk behind someone's back.

Pretend to like someone when you don't. Be hypocritical.

Two-faced.

Do something unkind to a friend.

Stab someone in the back.

Talk about the details of other people's lives.

Gossip.

Do physical exercise.

Work out.

Phrase used to shift to another topic.

By the way.

The exam to qualify as a lawyer.

Bar exam.

Leave.

Get going.

Really annoying.

Obnoxious.

Really annoying.

Obnoxious.

The exam to qualify as a lawyer.

Bar exam.

Speak badly of someone without them knowing.

Talk behind someone's back.

Pretend to like someone when you don't. Be hypocritical.

Two-faced.

Talk about the details of other people's lives.

Gossip.

Do something unkind to a friend.

Stab someone in the back.

Phrase used to shift to another topic.

By the way.

Short, friendly, unimportant conversations.

Small talk.

Do physical exercise.

Work out.

Leave.

Get going.

You haven't gotten older. You look young.

You haven't aged a day.

Now say the word and hear it in a sentence.

You haven't aged a day.

I am trying to discover a formula that will prevent me from aging.

You haven't aged a day.

It's inevitable. Your skin ages quicker when exposed to direct sunlight.

You haven't aged a day.

I don't mind aging. It's a natural process of life.

You know what? I heard that Tom has a new girlfriend.

From what I heard, there will be a managerial position open in the company next month.

We discussed the merger plan over lunch this afternoon.

I think the best way to do business is over a nice meal.